Venus Retrograde: Actually, I Can Smile Without You

You came along just like a song and brightened my day. Who would of believed that you were part of a dream, now it all seems light years away…

Venus Retrograde (March 5-April 15) is a time of reflection, helping us to live more abundantly than ever before.

All planets go retrograde. We often hear of Mercury Retrograde, when the “winged messenger” fowls up communications, computers and our travel schedules. But it’s a perfect universe: when Mercury retrogrades, we’re given an opportunity to slow down and look at how we communicate; when Venus does, we’re given an opportunity to review how we love ourselves and others.

There are two sides to Venus which are archetyped by the two Venus-ruled signs: Taurus and Libra. Taurus is the ruler of The House of Self-Worth and Values, whereas Libra rules The House of Partnerships. Or, to put it bluntly, Taurus Venus rules money while Libra Venus rules love. But it’s not that simple: They say that Venus’ beauty is shown on the outside of Libra, i.e., they are aesthetically beautiful, whereas Taurus’ beauty is on the inside — they are loyal to a fault. But even with these delineations, the separation between love and money is not as crystal as we would like to think: Wallace Wattles in The Science of Getting Rich writes that the fullest expression of love is facilitated by money in the form of giving. Roy Orbison sang, “Anything you want, you got it. Anything you need, you got it. Anything at all, you got it — baby.” I doubt Orbison would have made such declarations unless he could back it up; he was a Taurus, after all.

In any case, when Venus is retrograde, we’re given a chance to look at how we handle its energies: Am I enriched by how I choose to make money? Where is my money going? Is what I’m paying really worth it? Does my job increase my self-worth? Do I have nice things? Who or what do I find attractive? How do I make myself attractive? Are my relationships feeding my soul and helping me grow? Do I feel I am loved and am I loving the best way I can?

But what happens if, in review, we find we value or love something that isn’t good for us? Maybe it’s a job we’re addicted to — or a drug, person or lifestyle.

Award-winning therapist Marisa Peer helps resolve the situation most eloquently; she states, “The way you feel about anything is only ever down to two things. The pictures you make in your head and the words you say to yourself.” Thus, she explains that we have to make the familiar unfamiliar and the unfamiliar familiar in order for our behavior to change. If I think I can’t smile without you — or my job, my cigarettes, my insert-problem-situation-here — certainly I will not be able to. But if I start seeing myself smiling without you and telling myself that I’m smiling with you, thereby making the familiar unfamiliar and the unfamiliar familiar, sooner or later the mind will let that in and indeed I’ll be smiling without you.